I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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