I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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