i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
