it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
