btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
