I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
