she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
