I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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