Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
