You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
