My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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