All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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