he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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