she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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