at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
