first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
my mouth tastes like poor choices
someone owes me an orgasm
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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