i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
