Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
