we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
