you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
