You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So much rum. So many feels.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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