dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was confusing and full of hummus
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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