Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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