6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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