Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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