We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
