Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
