question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
