I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
