Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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