i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
