I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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