You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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