just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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