i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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