Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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