so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
