with your own penis?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
