using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
