how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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