..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
