my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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