How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
