Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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