There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
