my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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