Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
