Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You're a waste of cheezeits
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
