I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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