My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
