Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
