yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize