omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
