dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
