Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
