Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize