In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Still dying that you shit outside
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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