if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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