I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
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I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
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You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize