D3 body, D1 cock
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
